I am now at a crossroads in my life. Post-SPM, the time has finally come for me to decide once and for all what I am going to do with my life. In simpler terms, my career.

I, for one, have a lot of interests. So many that it is mind-boggling to begin on which career path to take. Nonetheless, I have managed to narrow it down to a few:

1. Biotechnology
2. Medicine
3. Law
4. Physics (or physics-related but not engineering)

These few were shortlisted because they are either one of my interests, have a good job market or both. Not helping things though is the fact that all do interest me to a certain extent. The dilemma.

So it boils down to this: Money...or Interest?

Life would be simple if the phrase "Money makes the world go round" was false. But its not.

The problem lies in the fact that out of all four, I have the most interest and capability in Physics. Yes, Physics happens to be my best subject (besides English). But the market for physics-related jobs is rather poor in Malaysia. The argument against that is: Find a job outside Malaysia then! Easier said than done.

The other three, holding lesser interest for me somewhat, have better job markets. Medicine and Law are the best, more likely to be able to offer very handsome salaries if things go well.

Ah, choices, choices! Money is very important as it ensures security and comfortable living (not forgetting my retail therapy too). Interest however, seems more important because it basically is what motivates you everyday to get your lazy ass out of bed in the morning to go to work and to face your bitchy boss. If you truly love your job, there is nothing that will get in your way to doing your best. Am I right, or am I right?

Case in point: My father initially worked for interest. Since he was 10, he decided to be a lawyer. (Note the firm goal) Things went well but since he decided against practicing, his career eventually stayed at Company Secretary (Cosec) and legal advisor. For 16 years. The time was ripe for a change of scene. So he left and agreed to another job. The new job came with an increased salary (increased by half of his former salary), better medical, and as he was told initially, less work and a better position. Unknowingly though, the initial job description did not include frequent trips to and fro between KL and Johor Bahru, finicky and self-centered datuks for company directors, complete lack of work ethics, overt office politics, and worst of all, the company had an indistinct future. For all everyone that worked in that company knew, by next year they would be working somewhere else if lucky and if not, unemployed. Their huge multi-billion-ringgit development project could just crash and burn. 'Cause as of this time, they are just talking and not showing the figures to back their grandiose plans. And this is at a time of major economic recession. Have they been sitting under a goddamn nutshell? Everyone knows that global investors are shying away from making new investments due to the foggy financial future. So I ask, can they still be sunnily optimistic about expecting to build a whole township from scratch and one to rival KL and Singapore put together?

By all means, make your plans. But plan them well and economically. For everybody's sake!

So back to the case of my father. Despite realising that it may not any longer be for interest, he took the job. Now, he is so stressed and overworked. Is it worth it? Having to put up with all that crap at work? I think not. Sure, the money is good, the perks are great, but does the end justify the mean? Does money buy happiness?

Another important detail to mention. We had to cancel our family vacation to Jakarta thanks to those bloody jerks for directors and my father had to get an undeserving earful and work all day on a Saturday... and in Johor. And now I only get to see my father on certain weekends, a few days in the week, and of those normal working days, usually a few hours at night when he's too tired. If I'm lucky. My family is forced to get used to having dinner without him and not talking to him for days at a time. I will not say that my family ties have loosened, but it may be if this keeps up.

I guess, in the end, it is a no win situation. You may have money but you're not so happy. When you're happy, you have no money.

This does not help me in making my decision.