Since my thoughts are always so occupied with him, its only time til I will write about lurrrve. So here I go.

Well, firstly, it sucks! Its like you have no life, just wasting your brainwaves away on someone that probably doesn't give a hoot about anything to do with you. Like what's the point of it all? Why do we have to go through such daily torture? I sure as hell did not ask for it!

Breathe.

In a short story I did for Literature, The Cinderella Girl, Edward the main character who pined for the most popular girl in school but secretly liked the school reject, said "There was something to be said for unrequited love. It was safer."

Spot on. The best thing resulting from all this trouble is that you don't really get hurt. Sure, day after day, there is an endless uncertainty and shadows of doubt, but the actual crushing pain of rejection will never come. You are gradually subjecting yourself to pain nonetheless but in minute amounts. For example, certain chemicals are not harmful to the body in small amounts; most become poison in large amounts. So its like introducing would-be harmless chemicals in small amounts over time so eventually it accumulates, becomes poison and you die. Not that painful, but you die. Compare with cutting your finger. Painful of course, but fleeting. The wound will eventually heal, you may or may not have a scar depending how deep is the cut and you will, eventually, forget.

Of course, some may argue that if there were deep feelings involved, real true love, then its not so easy to forget. But that's the thing. You will, no matter how long it takes, forget. It will happen. You will meet someone else, your mind becomes occupied with other things, you will recall him less often and less vividly. Though you may not want to, as human, the older memories will fade and be replaced by newer ones.

This should actually a source of motivation for all those people who love but hesitate. It basically tells us to take the chance and jump off the cliff with your eyes closed. If you land on a patch of grass, it will be worth it. But if you so happen to hit the hard ground, you will be bruised and hurting...but you can get up. The pain will fade and you can now overcome other obstacles. Move on, simply speaking.

There was an article I read in a magazine about this woman who sees her life as a series of cliffs. She could choose to avoid them, or just try to jump across. So when she comes to a point where she needs to decide whether to jump or not, she imagines closing her eyes and shouting "WooHoo!!!" as she jumps. It doesn't matter whether she falls or flies. Its the thought that she will, eventually, land.

So all it takes is courage. Courage to jump off and take a chance. Courage to feel that it is ok to fall, and be certain that you will touch ground in the end.

I wish I had this courage. I hope by writing this, I'll be able to get some courage to take chances, no matter what the circumstances, be it for love, for career, or simply, for life.

Things to remember:
-Never be Courage the Cowardly Dog.
-The Nike slogan "Just Do It". (Worked wonders during my SPM)
-Even Black Holes lead somewhere...right?
3 Responses
  1. Your Wicked Stepmother Says:

    There are a lot of things playing in your mind here.. pretty heavy stuff for a Thursday morning. But here's my 2 cents worth: Whenever you're in doubt, always ask yourself this question: What's the worst that can happen?

    For example, you like this person but have no guts to tell/ask him. Ask yourself, what's the worst that's gonna happen?

    Ok, maybe he'll say "Sorry, I'm taken", or "Thanks but no thanks", or "I don't like you!!" Can you handle that? If you can, by all means do it. But if you can't handle rejections like that, then forget it. You'll be so broken-hearted if that happens.

    When I was younger, I used to fancy this boy in my class who was so popular in school. Everyday I would think about him and dreamt of him (even until now, sometimes). But I never did confess or say anything to him because I was so afraid I "bertepuk sebelah tangan" sahaja.

    Even now, whenever anyone mentions his name, my heart would flutter. And this is a guy who I last met 30 years ago!

    I guess, this is what you called "unrequited love". Perhaps, or maybe it was just my infatuation...

    Overtime, I met a few other guys and fell for them one way or another. But he's always in my thought, eventho' I don't even know how he looks like or where he lives now! I guess, I'll never know and I don't want to find out either. Let him remain as a part of my fantasy that never materialise...


  2. Firstly, you're not a wicked stepmother!
    I know, I know... I know I should just bite the bullet. You have no idea how many times I've said that to Wany and Ainaa. i guess I'm waiting for the right moment.


  3. Your Wicked Stepmother Says:

    Yes, wait for the right moment. In due time, you'll know when.

    But you know what? I've never had the guts to tell a guy that I like him. Almost always, I just kept it to myself. I guess, I'm very conventional when it comes to these things.

    You do what you think is best for you.

    As for being wicked, I know I'm not, but I just like that phrase :-)

    You write well, Nadira. Keep on writing!


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