I just heard the song "Never Be The Same Again" by Melanie C and Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes on the radio and it reminded me of how much I used to love the song.

I think the first time I heard it was when I was in Primary 5 and crushing (I stress the word, crush) on the boy sitting beside me and who was a good friend of mine. The lyrics pictured exactly what's it like to like your own friend and wish you could have something more. I thought the song fitted my situation exactly then. Thinking back on it, it didn't. Because like all my early and silly crushes, it all went unspoken, unrequited and quickly dissolved. And I was 11 years old, for Heaven's sake! What could an 11 year old ever hope for when it came to boys? Boys at that age were still spoon-fed by their mothers! Haha.

Back to the present, I realise there aren't any other songs that talk about friends becoming lovers. At least, not that I know of. The closest one is "Anyone Else But You" by the Mouldy Peaches. The lyric goes "You're a part-time lover and a full-time friend..."

Besides that, I can't think of any else. I find that quite strange because that 'friends becoming lovers' thing is so often acted out for television and silver screen. Off the top of my head, there's When Harry Met Sally, Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!, Princess Diaries, not forgetting Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and even Jane Austen's Emma (Emma was so busy matchmaking other people, that she didn't realise she loved her best friend, Mr. Knightley). The last example just goes to show how often it is that friends of the opposite sexes find themselves tiptoeing around the line between friends and lovers, so much so that it could make its way into late 18th century English Literature. But the best example was When Harry Met Sally.

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally:How do you know?

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?

Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.

Harry: I guess not.

Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.


Well, I never agreed with Harry's theory because I'm pretty sure it's 100% okay to have friends of the opposite sex. I myself have a lot. I believe that it's normal and it makes you a better people person.

However, history does prove that in many cases, either one half of the man-woman friendship will develop feelings for the other but the feelings are not returned and the friendship is goes terribly sour OR both fall in love and proceed to have the best kind of relationships, that is, one based on friendship, trust and deep understanding.

Knowing that it's so much better to fall in love with a person you know well before any romantic feelings were involved, maybe that's why the guys I've crushed on and liked were all friends first. Not once did I meet and get to know someone with the sole intention of turning it into something romantic. In short, I always kind of wanted to have someone who was 'a part-time lover and a full-time friend'. I think it makes everything easier.

Although, it would only work if the feeling is mutual. That's why it's really scary to take the next step. Because you might either gain a lover or lose a friend... And the latter is much worse.

Anyway, this is for you. :)

Lyrics Melanie C lyrics - Never Be The Same Again lyrics
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2 Responses
  1. MrsNordin Says:

    I agree with Harry. Men and women can never be best friends.

    You can't have a guy to be your best friend like Aina. You can't tell the boys your intimate secrets because then it'll lead to something else. Where feelings are involved, both of you are doomed.

    You can be "friends" with the boys, but not best friend (except if he's your husband).

    That's why, if you don't want to lose your friendship with a boy, don't ever get feelings involved. The moment you sense some sort of romantic inclination, pull back. Unless you want to go serious with him and kawin.

    That's why, whenever you girls tell me, "Oh.. but he's my best friend!" No way! He's not your best friend. He's just a friend.

  2. sofia Says:

    i love this song too :D

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