Since I'm woefully stuck at home with little to amuse myself with, I've done what many would do in a house with a flat-screen tv and a huge stack of DVDs. Haha. And, since I like movies to begin with, I'll do a few movie reviews here.

The title of this entry truly sucks but I really could not think of a more catchy title for this piece of scribble which will, mostly, consist of a boring update of my first few weeks of the year.

So, back to school for the school-going children. Moi? At home, finding creative ways to keep myself occupied and my destitute brain to work. God forbid that I shall walk in to college (whenever that is) and discover with horror that my brain has successfully managed to be rid of all the knowledge I've crammed into all these years, especially the ones accumulated with much force and determination during the past year. Wasted. I dearly hope not. I am at least grateful that my command of the English word is still reasonable. This could be due to the fact that besides just writing a blog that I am unsure that anyone would bother reading, I can proudly say that I am pursuing my cobwebby hobby of writing stories.

Surprise, surprise. I write. I used to do it for much longer intervals and definitely more focus and attention before. I daresay I began when I was in Form Two. Having said that, it's obvious I could write more then due to the lesser workload and stress (yes, students encounter stress). Since then, there were a lot of ideas and incomplete drafts. Unfortunately, easily distracted as I am, all of them began for a good amount of pages before coming to an abrupt end. Just hanging and with little hope of being finished. It's quite sad, really.

I must defend myself for an ounce by saying that it was not hopelessness that held me back, or even my giving up finishing such a long task. Writing a fully-fledged novel is by all means not a walk in the park. A lot of time goes into it and although it may seem unimportant, it requires a load of planning. It's simple to begin with a general idea of how it will begin and for me, the parts that are the best to imagine and watch being acted out in your noggin. Yet, seeing it through, connecting the dots, forming clever dialogue, coherent trains of thought, a believable and yet exciting plot...it's got to be descriptive enough so the reader will be able to imagine it closely enough to how you pictured it...it's got to be funny a bit to keep it interesting; dramatic enough to compel; believable so that the reader does not think you're writing a pure fantasy instead of fiction; yet a little imaginary, unique, extraordinary to make it more magical...those are the tough parts. Of course, there is no perfect novel that has all the ideals mentioned. Yet, one hopes to write a good story, one that does satisfy you. Any story I write must be enjoyable enough for me to read. Like I said before, I am my worst critic.

And so, my stories never lasted my own gruelling criticisms as I penned them. One of the most important things I kept in mind was that it could not be or contain any dreaded cliches. It must not be a story someone's read before or even vaguely remembers from somewhere. Sure, you cannot avoid the usual lovely fictional twists that makes a novel memorable; those are okay but for me, it has to be at least slightly, if not completely, different. I've read enough books to say that an author rarely can absolutely depart from at the very least, a few usual gimmicks. And I must say, some of them, really are classic that when administered tactfully in a plot, does do wonders. Okay, an example. Who does not love that wonderfully similar way the hero and heroine would fall for each other after at first completely hating each other? We've seen that a gazillion times and I believe that we may never tire of it. So yes, some are very true (like the one I mentioned, really does happen in real life) and very nice to add to one's story.

Some, are much too over-rated. Like, the gets-into-an-accident-and-gets-amnesia-so-hero/heroine-does-not-remember-lover hook. Sure, it's really dramatic, but it gets so annoying. We've seen that one too many times before and it's really a yawn-inducer now. Yet, I will reveal, here only, that I have used that hook before. The past-present secret thing is a very good way of creating an interesting plot so unless the supernatural is involved, what other way does one make their hero stumble upon a long-lost lover with an interesting twist besides that? Oh, I guess if you want to be really creative, there are means to but, well, amnesia is a quicker option. So there, a reason one of my stories failed before completion. I would rather not publish it at all - if ever finished - if such a cliche was present in my story. Although, that particular story has been a long-time favourite (I've nurtured it since I started writing to begin with) and I've conceived it in a hundred different ways, searching for the best combination to put it all together but as of now, I still haven't found the solution. It's immensely difficult to get it right.

Poems are easier but hard to come by. It takes a burst of inspiration to see it through and if I do get one, the poem is very quickly finished. Some are published in my school magazine (a not completely satisfying alternative, but an alternative nonetheless). Short stories are also believed to be easier to jot and complete than a considerably thick novel, but the ideas I have are usually more elaborate and complicated to finish in a few pages.

So, yeah. I am writing a new story, not trying to finish an old one because the more I think about those, the more ridiculous they sound. Another thing is that I seem to have run out of steam when I wrote the old ones. It got less interesting to read or write. So I would constantly edit it, tweak here, tweak there, and hence, it never got finished.

But I am trying very hard to finish this one as it is quite different from the rest and I have it all planned out. My only worry that is won't be as long as I would like (I very much enjoy reading thick books as thin books are finished too soon at my usual pace). It's kind of sweet and not very gushy. I really like it but I hope I can manage to finish it but there's a lot of distraction at home during the day. In the form of a certain terrorising little boy.

Here, I think I would like to mention how proud I am of Stephenie Meyer for having the guts to write about a much-enjoyed fantasy of most girls that I daresay, rarely came out in print and became a huge hit. Her complete flight to fantasy through Twilight in particular can be very well understood by a lot of girls; we all wish for a perfect man for us, that loves us despite our obvious plainness beside him. That book is either absolutely adored, or extremely loathed. She really had guts.

Right, since this was supposed to be a report, I shall also jot here that I have begun modest attempts at playing the guitar. It's not as easy as it looks; piano is actually easier on the fingers. My fingers on my left-hand hurt and apparently, you have to press the strings harder to get the sound right. I cannot wait for my fingers to get hard at the tips so it'll be easier to fret. It hurts!

Besides that, I have been playing badminton again and I occasionally bake cupcakes. Driving? Not yet; soon I hope. Working? Very much impossible I think. On the surface, there's really nothing much else.

What's that? Personal life? Oh...no thanks. I can only say that there are some considerable improvements; I am not such a F-ing coward that I thought I was. Hesitation still quite there, less acute though. That's all I can say; I shall not reveal any more!

Cheers, you happier people. :P

Perhaps my previous 2 posts are a little freaky, in the sense that well, 1) I appear to have a morbid fascination with older men and 2) this is coming from someone that is about 2 months shy of her 18th birthday. Maybe, probably, a little wrong in whatever sense of that word. In short, I'm kinda too young to have deep crushes on older men...in theory. I'm not trying to prove my normality or anything here, but I do like young guys too.

Crushing on mega hot 40-something actors should be forgiven, in any case. Scrolling down on my Yummy! list will more or less show some of my 'crush factors', because there are similar traits between them, don't you think? Stubble on an otherwise chiselled jaw, gray in dark locks of hair, lines to interrupt smooth skin... They stand as a testament that Hollywood is not all perfection and that to be attractive is to be young and beautiful. Its a complete aversion of what's thought to be universally ideal - youth. Not just the men though. There are some Hollywood actresses allowing themselves the ultimate human weakness - to age - and while they're at it, to age gracefully too. I really like watching Diane Keaton and Meryl Streep. They were heavyweights during younger days on the silver screen but even now, they're as lovely and compelling as ever. Proves that age is never a hindrance.

Don't you just love it? To me, it lightens the pressure of having to compete with so many beautiful people out there. While now they can be so gorgeous, later they may be fighting (then usually failing) to retain their youthful beauty. And the rest of us can be at peace.

I just finished reading the book everybody else is reading at the moment, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. I really liked it...in a way. Its difficult to explain. I knew full well before purchasing the book and flipping to the first page that as many reviews claimed, it was a young adult fiction. Its target audience is teenage girls. Hence, a mushy romantic fantastical love story between a ungodly perfect undead vampire with an ordinary gal. Not my kind of book. At all.

But other positive reviews (there were about an equal amount of people out there who despise the book actually) fascinated me. These reviews came from readers outside the target audience; twenty-somethings and above, career women, mothers to daughters who read the book etc. To summarise, they all basically said it was a lovely ecape from reality. It definitely wasn't real, the perfection of Edward and the other Cullens too wondrous, even the setting was dreamlike.

After reading it now myself, they were right. Like I've mentioned, I appreciate being able to escape from reality once in a while.

Reading it was like succumbing to the deepest, most hidden desire of most women (I won't try to be presumptous by saying all women) - to find and inexplicably fall in love with the most perfect man ever created and disbelievingly discover that such a person could love you back. If Bella was indeed a real person, she most probably would be dead by now. Not because Edward finally succumbed to his thirst for her blood and killed her. But because by all the crazied obsessions of teen girls everywhere over Edward (driven to wilder heights thanks to the excessive gorgeousness of Robert Pattinson as if you need any help to visualise the character) and thus, unfathomable and destructive jealousy towards Bella. Such a lucky girl should also not (be allowed to) exist. Anyway, to me it was admitting to myself, no matter how determined I am to be a realist, that I too wanted my own share of real-life magic. Deep down, given the choice, I would have gladly given up all of my notions to fall in love with someone so more out-of-league than previously deemed possible. I want my own Edward Cullen.

I mean, who was Bella Swan anyway? She was essentially, just an ordinary Jane. She could be anyone of us. But there she was, for a reason so cruelly unclear, inexplicably appealing to the magnificent Edward. Meyer had no qualms about feeding us every detail of Edward's perfection. He was not a blood-sucking, life-taking undead often portrayed in other books and movies. Sure, he was dangerous, but he was nice. He cared for humans. So all that remained was the perfection that came with being a vampire according to Meyer. Every desirable quality there was to be desired Edward had. He was so perfect, he was so unreal.
Personally, he doesn't at all seem like a vampire. More like a demi-god. Whatever.

But then, we will be reminded that Edward is far from being perfect. Because he was so perfect. (I hope you're still following me with this) He's too beautiful, so people stay away. He is dangerous, so he must stay away too. He is forever young, so forever lonely. He is doomed for eternity. I'd like to thank Meyer for the slight reality check in the midst of all the fantasy. At least, it's slightly more believable.

So, Edward and the likes of him will always remain unreal. Its a great way of releasing oneself to fantasy sometimes but not something to hope for. I'm not exactly sure of what I'm trying to really relay through all this babble but I think the idea is there. Ponder all of it for a bit. You might find something. I hope... :)

P.S. I'm gonna read the rest of the Twilight saga anyway. There's no way I'm not going to see through to the end of the fantasy Meyer managed to create in my mind.